Date 12: World Famous Shrimp Cocktail

This date was made possible thanks to our neighbor Dave who gave us a gift card to St. Elmo’s steak house. Always help out your neighbor, not only is it good policy mandated by God, but your neighbor may be super cool like ours and extend their gratitude! We were not disappointed with St. Elmo’s. Our waiter wore a bow tie and had more than 25 years of experience serving there. Dinner for two easily cost $100 dollars so don’t expect to sit next to “average” people. The woman sitting to our left looked like a young Elizabeth Taylor and owned the company that invented the aluminum ladder. The people to our right spoke amongst themselves in French (we think). It’s hard to depict the true ambience of St. Elmo’s. It is surprisingly more relaxed than my account would lead you to believe.

We started the meal off with the world famous shrimp cocktail. Nothing describes the shrimp cocktail better than a powerful punch to the face. The shrimp is covered in ½ cocktail sauce and ½ horseradish. I came in with allergies and I left with completely clear sinuses. It is not for the meek or those suffering from horseradish sensitivities but it’s a must try if you’re there. (There’s a couple of fuzzy pictures of Osi trying it and immediately following it with a drink).

We laughed as our soups arrived. I ordered the tomato soup which was basically cold V8 served in a large shot glass. I looked around the room as I contemplated how I should eat soup out of a shot glass. I downed it like a shot of tequila when no one was looking. I think I am beginning to enjoy the social awkwardness of a fancy dinner - the fumbling of the cloth napkins, the unnecessary silverware selection, and all the other uncertainties such as where your coat goes and how you eat the dish.

After dinner we headed out to get some after-party supplies for two. We stopped at Marsh where we picked up some wine and chocolate dessert. Ironically, we also bought one of those bed in a bag sets on clearance. We’ve been looking into new bedding for a long time and couldn’t pass up the outrageous deal. Who would have known Marsh carried bedding? That explains the clearance doesn’t it?! Osi carried the bed in a bag, wine, and chocolates to the checkout. We both burst out laughing when we realized what this late night purchase must look like to the cashier. I am sure I was blushing and if Osi could blush he would have been too. It was good to be laughing and in love! Osi rated the date a 9.5.

Date 11??? Border Patrol

Sadly, Osi had to travel and couldn’t make date night. Nonetheless, he remained the center of attention on date night. Around 3:00 on Friday I received a phone call from the Canadian border. A woman said she was calling from Immigration….blah, blah, blah (I blanked out for a second after hearing the word immigration). She stated that there was a problem with my husband and they were unable to let him cross the Canadian border. She threatened that he may be detained and I would likely have to come to Canada. Apparently, as Osi had headed for his trip to Canada, he grabbed our “important file” which contains our passports, IDs, etc. My passport, birth certificate, and an old license were in the file he had with him.

The woman on the phone asked me all kinds of questions, “How many last names have you had? Are you aware that your husband has your ID? Why aren’t you carrying your license? Where is he going?” My conversation with the border patrol woman ended with her explaining what a serious offense it is to carry someone else’s ID across an international border. She threatened that I may have to go to Canada for my documents and it sounded like they had no plans to let me husband go anytime soon. The last thing she said was, “I will consider these things as I am making my decision.” I assumed her decision was whether or not to make me drive to Canada to bail out my husband and pick up my id. Does anyone know where this is written in the law?

My cell phone battery was dying and I was in the car about an hour away from my mom’s where I had initially planned to spend the final days of vacation. I made an urgent call to mom, “Mom, listen to me, my phone is going to die soon and immigration has Osi. Answer their questions if they call you. I’ll be there soon,” and the phone basically died. My mom was more panicked than I was when I arrived. She was nearly yelling at me to do something. “You need to find Osi. Call someone!” Long story short, I was able to track down Osi. Border patrol made him go back to the US and mail my information and then he was able to cross. Lessons I learned: I will no longer joke about immigration investigating my life and one should always know the details of a spouse’s trip! Know the route, destination address, and emergency contact numbers.

In the picture: After the drama, my Friday night was spent lounging at my parents in a hand-me-down, green sweat suit. My mom acquired this green sweat suit and passed it on to me. It is the envy of all sweat suits. That pork chop I am holding in the picture is her dog Brutus. Brutus is mom’s way of coping with empty nest syndrome.

Date 10: Trust Me

On Friday we went rock climbing with our friends Kerwyn and Angie Martin. This date left us with more than memories; we both have plenty of sore muscles! Kerwyn and Angie recently made rock climbing a true hobby. While I was trying to find stretchy pants and matching socks to wear (shorts are too breezy and I have a limited supply of matching socks), they were probably busy cooking our dinner and packing their special rock climbing shoes, chalk bags, and fancy devices that secure a rope between a climber and a person on the ground.

On our way to the rock climbing facility, Kerwyn made the comment that they hadn’t been climbing since Tuesday. Osi and I haven’t been in at least a year. Why is this relevant? Well, come summer Osi and I will be competing in a race called the Warrior Dash against the Martins and the rest of the Viking helmet wearing world (runners are provided with Viking helmets). The Warrior Dash is a team event that involves running and obstacle courses such as ropes, hurdles, small fires, etc. Clearly, experienced rock climbers will have an advantage. My thoughts after realizing the Martins were climbing multiple times per week, “Will team Okonkwo be able to achieve victory over the Martins at the race this year? It is highly unlikely. Will we talk some trash and have an incredible time? ABSOLUTELY!”

Rock climbing actually requires trust. You basically tie a rope around a ridiculous looking harness on your waist and give someone the end to hold. The person holding the end will be responsible for lowering you back to the ground once you’ve climbed to the top or if you get into trouble and fall off the rock wall. The only thing standing between fun and broken legs or internal bleeding is a rope and the person holding the other end (ok there are a few mats but I don’t think they would make that much difference). You must trust the rope and trust the person holding the other end.

I climbed the wall with my rope attached to none other than……………Angie. What? You thought I was going to say that I gave the other end to Osi and this was some great trust building date? No, we trusted the experienced and medically trained Martins to be in charge of lowering us to the ground. I had a great time on this date. It made me think about the importance of hobbies/goals in romantic relationships. Not every couple sets defined goals or has an official hobby but I think it is worth considering. That’s a talk for another time though! Osi rated this date a 9.

Date 9: Love, Marriage, and the Mating Habits of Elephants.

I am in the middle of an exam block and I made the mistake of going to movies. This would have been fine except for the fact that I was sleep deprived and mentally exhausted from exams and studying. All I could think about during the movie was the uncomfortable chair and how much better sleeping in my bed would have been. I didn’t even have an appetite for popcorn which is shocking. That should have been a clear sign to go home. Date night wasn’t entirely a bust though, we did enjoy the signature dessert at Barcelona Tapas earlier in the evening. I can’t recall the name of the dish but if you go just ask for their best dessert. That’s what I did. Are you picking up on the fact that we love dessert?

I should have known that staying awake during a movie would be a form of torture during an exam block. Speaking of post exam exhaustion, I came across an article about dating/marriage to a medical student that I found very relevant. To read the full article check out: How to Date a Med Student - Love and Marriage - FOXNews.com. The article had great insight and I could certainly see my own relationship in several of the points it discussed. For example, the article warned that medical students will bombard their significant others with random medical facts. This caused me to reflect on all of the information I had shared with Osi in just the past week alone.

I decided to share a few of our conversations this week.

The Okonkwo Household Top 10 Medically Related Topics of the Week
1) Don’t give little kids aspirin (bleeding stomach ulcers). Osi asked why and I told him a horror story of a kid bleeding to death from an ulcer in minutes.
2) The definition of carbuncle (massive hair follicle infection often on back of the neck). Osi continued making dinner and made no comment.
3) I asked in a serious tone, “Is my thyroid growing?” Osi laughed at this. Med students apparently seem to over self-diagnose. I don’t know. I am keeping an eye on it.
4) Don’t drink too much water when you run marathons. This statement was followed by Osi asking, “Are you seriously telling me that? Why would I run a marathon? Is someone chasing me?”
5) Don’t feed babies honey (botulism poisoning). The toxin causes paralysis and can cause respiratory failure/death). There was no follow up discussion on this topic but I think I made my point clear when I showed him the paralyzed baby picture. Our future kids should be honey free.
6) Try to keep your white to red meat ratio at 4:1. Osi replied with, “You’re the one that won’t eat chicken.”
7) Eggs have all the essential amino acids. I guess it’s ok if you eat them every day. Osi responded with some kind of “I told you so” grunting sound.
8) Don’t drink too much fruit juice. You could get fruit juice diarrhea.
9) I noticed a nail on our dining room floor and rushed to pick it up. I then asked Osi, “When was your last tetanus booster?” “Uh, 2002?” I responded by saying, “The last thing we need is you getting tetanus toxin” as I imitated the characteristic lock jaw and back spasms caused from tetanus toxin.
10) Elephants don’t actually have to touch during sex. The female can just get sprayed. I am pretty sure after sharing this with him Osi told me to stop. For those of you wondering where the heck I heard this - I had a lecture from an OBGYN this week on sex and female health. For some unknown reason he divulged this.

At one point during the week Osi stopped me and said, “Think about this before you tell me.” Implying that what I was going to tell him would gross him out and ruin his appetite or maybe just bore him to death. I decided it best not to tell him that story (It involved a sexually transmitted infection with oozing lesions on the genitals) so it’s not included on the list. I am still learning to censor my conversations with him. It’s actually really sweet that he listens to all this crap. I need to get back to studying. More upcoming exams! Osi rated this date: 7.5.