Date 21: The Power of Pheromones

Scent is one of the most powerful ways to evoke memories and feelings. I can certainly attest to this. For example, anytime I smell White Rain hairspray I automatically associate it with dead bugs and nearly gag - I used hairspray to shellac insects for my collections as a kid. I can recall the cologne of my junior high boyfriend and if I were blindfolded I could pick my mom out of a line up by scent alone. I am also keenly aware of my husband’s unique body odor after a workout (he smells like wild onions). People have actually done research and found that people are most attracted to individuals who smell different than they do. Interesting, huh? It must be some sort of survival of the fittest/genetic variation concept at work. Therefore, on some level I might actually be turned on by the smell of wild onions.

I decided it was time to incorporate cologne into date night. We spent the evening sampling fragrances. I decided to buy CK intense euphoria for Osi’s new date night scent. Most animals use some sort of pheromones as part of their mating ritual so it makes sense that humans probably possess similar mechanisms-though it is clear we rely on additional factors more complex than pheromones when it comes to finding a mate. Whatever the case might be I enjoyed picking out my hubby’s new scent and feel like it can only increase my mojo. The photo of us was taken the following day at a formal party-Osi wore his new scent and I was pleased. :)

After choosing a fragrance at the mall we visited the nearby Pei Wei restaurant (which is the real reason Osi chose the Glendale mall as our date night destination). He was craving Pei Wei for weeks and now and I understand why. It is a cheaper version of P.F. Changs but the best part is the soda machine. It is a digital machine that has somewhere between 125-150 different flavors of soda. AMAZING. The number kept fluctuating depending on which waiter I asked. The coke machine makes the visit worth your while.

Osi rated this date an 8.

Date 20: The beginning of us and its relation to Hari Krishna.

Our date consisted of a road trip to Chicago to visit our friend Hari. Before discussing our date let me give you some background information on Hari. Hari and Osi met on their first day of college back in 2002. They have been friends ever since. They’ve spent many days goofing off, talking about girls, studying for engineering exams, and doing whatever else it is college guys do.
I have known Hari nearly as long as I’ve known Osi and he has been a part of our lives since the beginning of our relationship. LITERALLY, since the beginning.
• The first time Osi flirted with me he invited me to a birthday party. It happened to be Hari’s 21st birthday. Our first kiss was at that party. Two years later on Hari's birthday, Osi and I announced our engagement.


• Hari was with us on our first date at Midtown grill. I was unaware when I agreed to go on a date with Osi that we would be accompanied by six of his friends. Our date felt a little like an informal job interview. I agreed to a second date, which turned into me cooking dinner for Osi, Hari, and several other friends of Osi’s.

• Thru a strange series of events, Hari and I later became roommates and developed our own friendship. For a year or so, Hari and I lived in a house with three other interesting individuals by the names of Umut, Walle, and Rishi G. I think Osi came to visit Hari just as many times as he came to visit me. Obviously, Osi and I spent a lot of time hanging out with Hari and my other roommates who happened to be friends of Osi’s too. I did not purposely plan to move in with Osi’s friends. I promise it wasn’t a stalker-like attempt to win over Osi.

As the years have passed, we’ve shared birthdays and Thanksgiving with Hari, chauffeured one another to airports, talked about career moves, and despite our hectic schedules our friendships have lasted. Recently, Hari accepted a “real job” and left for Chicago. Osi and I took a mini road trip to visit. When we arrived to Hari’s apartment, I thought to myself, “Hari has made it!” I reminisced about the times we would joke about how much different life would be when we got real jobs.

It is fair to say that college was a struggle for all of us. The coursework was far from the most challenging part. We spent substantial time discussing tactics to avoid overdrawing our bank accounts, we went a time with no electricity, we shared a single bathroom amongst five people, we both learned to manage without cars, and Osi was always there for both Hari and I. No matter what we were going thru, Osi seemed like the voice of optimism and reason. For every struggle, we were able to laugh and think about the days when things would be different. I am thankful for those humbling struggles and all of the laughter we found in them. I looked out the apartment window at the panoramic Chicago skyline and I had this feeling that Hari’s day had finally arrived and the Okonkwos couldn’t be happier for him!

Now about our date:
We took the lake cruise tour. I would not recommend this. Next time we will try the architectural tour instead. The tour guide was awful and I didn’t learn a thing about the city. The highlight of our trip was lunch. Osi and his friends swear by this Pakistani place called Sabri Nahari. I love good ethnic food so I was excited to try it out. At one point, Hari told me that eating at Sabri was my “Passage into the brotherhood.” I am not sure I want to be part of the brotherhood, but I do love family, teams, and tradition so I was even more pumped about going there. The restaurant is located on Devon Street in Chicago. It is difficult to find and according to the boys this is one more reason why it is such a great place to go. Basically, you’ll find it sandwiched between the fabric /belly dancing supply store and The Patel Brothers. The food was delicious. I welcome the tradition of eating there every time we go to Chicago.

After our late lunch we had to head back home. On the drive I was thinking about how much things have changed in the six years we’ve been dating. How far we’ve come, how much we’ve grown up, and how blessed we are to have friends who have been there from the beginning!
Osi rated this date an 8.

Date 19: Wine & Canvas

Osi and I, along with a few friends went to the Castleton Wine & Canvas studio. The studio provides you with painting materials and you buy the wine. We went with expectations of creating masterpieces to hang in our living room and left with something more fit for a walk-in closet (exactly one step up from a painting suitable only for the garage). This date was still amongst my favorites. The studio staff are upbeat and encouraging. You will hear people flat out lying to each other to keep spirits high and you’ll also be subjected to bouts of the entire room singing along to Jimmy Buffet songs. You are guaranteed to find deeper meaning in the phrase, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I witnessed all this first hand. I also witnessed my husband’s natural tendency to think outside the box as he completely ignored the instructor and created his own art work and watched as my friend Jonathan got frustrated and resorted to finger painting. Osi rated this date a 9.

Our recent art experiences left me reflecting on the concept of talent. I often joke that I am searching for my hidden talent. I can’t draw, I don’t play an instrument, I can’t speak four languages, and though I am active I don’t possess any athletic skill. Yet, even here in Indiana, I find myself surrounded by people with amazing talents that leave me in awe. I have met people that can nearly touch something and it turns to gold…people that write…people that record music…people fluent in languages from all over the world…people that can cook the most delicious food you’ve ever eaten…even people with unbelievable charm enabling them to simply walk into a room and improve your quality of life. All of which, I consider a talent. And so I started thinking…what are our talents? Here’s what I came up with…

Okonkwo Family Talents

Note that canvas painting did not make the list.

Osi:
1. Ability to think outside the box and live outside the norm. For as long as I’ve known Osi he has been his own person. This has been an invaluable strength as we’ve had to work thru our twenties figuring out how we fit together. We aren’t exactly like our friends and he is no longer purely Nigerian nor am I simply an American Jane, but we’ve created something beautiful in between. This trait also creates an entrepreneurial spirit in him that I admire.

2. Ability to exuberate joyfulness and rationality all at the same time. His laugh and positivity are contagious. I think this is really what made me fall in love with him. He has an energy and desire to live joyfully. Regardless of circumstance, he is able to combine his joyfulness with logic and rationality. Something he tells me on a regular basis is, “Let’s worry about the things in our control and don’t worry about everything else!”

3. His Brain. Who’s the president of Russia? What the heck is a polynomial? Here, read this chemistry book and tell me what it is trying to say. All of the previous statements are actual things I’ve said to him. I’ve always appreciated his well-rounded education, interest in politics and current events, and his ability to comprehend just about any text book. If he hadn’t won me over with his joyfulness, I almost certainly would have fallen for his intelligence.

My own talents are perhaps even more abstract.
Enola:
1. My love of science and ability to study it for hours on end. Several years ago, I noticed that not everyone enjoyed reading textbooks as much as I did and I thought to myself, “If this isn’t a talent, what is?”
2. Others have told me I have a keen ability to spot out other nerds, some kind of intrinsic nerd radar. I am not sure if this is true. It may explain some things.
3. Uhh…as a kid I was once voted most likely to write a book. Does that count? Did I mention I am still searching for my hidden talent?

It’s difficult to identify your own talents if you don’t have some super cool skill like juggling or using nunchucks.

Final words of wisdom, Never let yourself be defined by your talents. When all of your gifts are stripped away, it is better to have a life that still has purpose than to find yourself lost as well.

I heart Groupon

Thanks to groupon we visited an Indianapolis comedy club that I didn’t even know existed (Morty’s Comedy Club). We were also able to drag my brother and his gal along with us. Hanging out with my brother is a lot more fun now that he isn’t an annoying 13 year old trying to punch me in the face (He’s now 24). Morty’s is massive on the inside; unfortunately, only about 1/3 of the seats were filled with customers. It’s a worthwhile comedy club but apparently no one realizes it’s worthwhile, only a third of the seats were filled. The comedians are as funny as any of the headliners I’ve seen downtown so give them a chance! Osi rated the comedy club date an 8.



By the way, my first week of vacation was great! I hung out with Osi more this week, took a leisure nap, reinstated margarita night, started a part-time job in oncology, and went fishing with my step dad, Lawrence. I was especially excited to remove the fish hooks from the fish with a pair of serrated scissors that looked identical to dissecting scissors. I really should have put on some sunscreen though. You’d think after living like a vampire for months I would have been a little wiser! The painful sunburn is a bittersweet reminder that life is truly good!

The Difficult Balance of Medicine & Marriage

Last month I had to shut off the world to finish up my last weeks of school. Here’s how date night went down during the midst of final exams:

Week 1 (Date 15): I was sleep deprived and mentally exhausted. Osi picked up some movies and we stayed home…In pajamas. I am not talking about cute boy short pajamas or anything like that. I threw on a paint-stained t-shirt and ugly sweats to clearly communicate my purpose for the night: REST. Date not rated.

Week 2 (Date 16): The pressure of final exams was unrelenting. My solution was to schedule a date at Barnes and Nobles. I would study and Osi could read over his usual comic books and browse the architecture/business aisle. On our way to B&N we stopped at King Gyros and I ate the largest gyro I’ve ever seen. Go there, you will not be disappointed (3410 S East St 46227). After eating, I just wanted to pass out. This resulted in a change of plans. We drove home and went to sleep. My husband had to sacrifice his date night for my basic needs: sleep and food. Date not rated.

Week 3 (Date 17): Still in the midst of final exams but in desperate need of a mental vacation. A little after midnight on Thursday, I told Osi it was my birthday. I then begged to open my birthday present. I was well aware that such a thing did not exist. I figured this would be a subtle way to ensure my birthday was not forgotten and a nice way to say, uh-well…, “get me a present”. The way I see it, you should celebrate your spouse. My plan worked perfectly. The next day I was given a great birthday gift (Energy aroma therapy, chocolates, and a gift card). I didn’t care if my husband had bought the gift months ago or if he put it together the hour before he came home. It didn’t matter. I was impressed by the fact that he knew exactly what I needed during this time. I may have been equally impressed with a new set of mechanical pencils and a giant fountain coke.

For the date, we went to the Stutz Gallery open house. If you have any interest in art, or if you’re just looking to feel cultured, check out the Stutz center. The Stutz center was a car manufacturing center years ago and it still has an industrial look and some old classics on display. I would also highly recommend visiting galleries during “First Fridays”. Many cities have art galleries open the first Friday of every month. You will meet the artists and they usually offer free snacks or wine. Check out this website if you’re interested! http://www.idada.org/ or http://www.stutzartists.com/artists.html This date should have been rated but with everything going on, I forgot to ask for a rating. Clearly, accuracy of the rating would be skewed at this point. Date not rated.

Final exams are finally over! In the words of one of my classmates, “I am now ¼ doctor. Therefore, I charge ¼ the price. Disclaimer: I can only help with ¼ of your problems.” Becoming a doctor is either the most selfish or selfless decision I have ever made and I am truly blessed to be surrounded with people who have patiently and graciously supported me thru it. Please continue to pray for me, my family, and God’s vision for my marriage and career. The next couple of months will be a much slower pace and I plan on reconnecting with those that matter most to me!

Sink or Swim

We enjoyed spring on the canal as our labs took a swim. I know a lot of people think the canal is filthy. Those people are probably right. I am sure it is filled with microbes but we’ve taken the dogs multiple times and they’ve lived to return. People are prohibited from swimming but no one seems to complain about dogs jumping in. This is a great place to have a date if you have a four legged friend. The Creation Café, located at the end of the canal, will happily serve your dog if you dine outside.

I had to cut date night a bit short this week to study. I hate to study on a date night but my concentration level has been at a record low for weeks now and I thought it was necessary. I am approaching a huge block of exams that mark the ¼ point for me. A mentor of mine once said, “Medical school is sink or swim and I am floating.” It took me 2 weeks of classes to understand the sink or swim phenomenon but I didn’t understand the “floating” part until recently. With that said, I have decided to take a break from the blog and retreat until life is back in balance.

Man, it’s times like these that I am glad I have a God and an understanding husband. I appreciate the well wishes and prayers. I’ll see you in May!

Date 13: The Mile High City

This week our date night took place in Denver, Colorado a.k.a. the mile high city. I fell in love with Denver the moment I got off the plane. The mountains in the distance were begging me to hike them. The bicycles and boutiques lining the streets instantly made me picture myself riding my cruiser down the street to a chic city apartment. The endless supply of cowboy hats and boots made me want to stay there forever.

Where I come from, wranglers are acceptable and most people own a good pair of cowboy boots so naturally, I am drawn to them.

I am still upset that I managed to leave without buying a pair.




We walked around Denver, had dinner and drinks at a tapas restaurant, and stopped at the Denver auto show. Osi drooled over the new infiniti M37X and the Audi Q7 while I ran to the 12+ passenger Mercedes Sprinter. Owning a full size van is a dream of mine. I sat behind the wheel of the Sprinter and I could feel the adventure running thru my veins. You may think I am crazy but the time will come when you call me asking if you can borrow the Okonkwo Sprinter!




Osi and I planned on taking a mountain hike the following morning but our beautiful 80 degree weather was followed by a 30 degree snow storm. I am not kidding! Initially, we were not deterred by the precipitation. We figured we are from Indiana (well, at least I am); we can handle snow. 20 minutes into our drive the snow was pelting down on our car and we decided we weren’t prepared to battle a mountain snow storm and risk missing our flight. I was extremely disappointed that we didn’t get to hike. We must go back to the mountains!! However, later we found out that the road we were traveling on had been closed due to the weather conditions so I am certain we made the right decision.

This date was a welcomed break from our regular routine. Wives: note that I believe there’s some kind of husband guide book that explains all trips and/or vacations should be entered into with the spirit of a newlywed - be prepared and pack accordingly. Osi rated this date a 9.